If anybody is interested in reading my story for the writing in practice presentation it's on my blog - azeemhussain.blogspot.com Warning: Positive feedback (if any) might induce me to put up more stories.
Okay... I read your story... I liked that part about the Shaikh and the Hussein communication bit and spell check part... and that thing about running reminded me of a line from a JOHN GRISHAM movie trailer (ref: MAD TV on ZEE ENGLISH/CAFE)... the story... mmmmmm...
I DID NOT GET the self-boosting part... REF:"He was, she decided, someone who could not be fitted into any category. He was different, he genuinely understood the significance of the work assigned to him, only something was amiss in his attitude towards work. Could it just be laziness?"
OBSERVATION - STOP TRYING TO BE AN ARROGANT ROBBIE WILLIAMS TYPE.. the different, slightly geeky serious boy.
REF:"It was like a pressure-cooker letting off steam but he still didn’t feel any better. He needed an answer. His crying and his lamentations fell on deaf ears. His questions remained unanswered as the words, who possessed an uncannily infinite capacity to stare into the space above them, ignored him. Azem felt incomplete without any interaction with the others. His desire to communicate and his subsequent failure to do so left an empty, sickening feeling inside. Were all the other words better than him?" Inference - this bit was intense, and reminded me of THE HOLLOW MEN by T.S. Eliot. The pressure cooker imagery is pretty nice, but why cant you se something less domestic? After all, if I am not mistaken, kitchen is not really your domain besides the odd cuppa. Anyway, I could be Wrong. Basically, the story is .... er.. all right i guess, and the term paper thing is something I can totally IDENTIFY with. But being the Word reminds me of ECO's THE NAME OF THE ROSE. The story needs more work to get it stronger, and maybe a dash of sex regarding Mrs. Sen? (lol) (But you might take it seriously... after all, as a lot of other guys have pointed out, sex sells)
1 comment:
Okay... I read your story... I liked that part about the Shaikh and the Hussein communication bit and spell check part... and that thing about running reminded me of a line from a JOHN GRISHAM movie trailer (ref: MAD TV on ZEE ENGLISH/CAFE)... the story... mmmmmm...
I DID NOT GET the self-boosting part... REF:"He was, she decided, someone who could not be fitted into any category. He was different, he genuinely understood the significance of the work assigned to him, only something was amiss in his attitude towards work. Could it just be laziness?"
OBSERVATION - STOP TRYING TO BE AN ARROGANT ROBBIE WILLIAMS TYPE.. the different, slightly geeky serious boy.
REF:"It was like a pressure-cooker letting off steam but he still didn’t feel any better. He needed an answer. His crying and his lamentations fell on deaf ears. His questions remained unanswered as the words, who possessed an uncannily infinite capacity to stare into the space above them, ignored him. Azem felt incomplete without any interaction with the others. His desire to communicate and his subsequent failure to do so left an empty, sickening feeling inside. Were all the other words better than him?"
Inference - this bit was intense, and reminded me of THE HOLLOW MEN by T.S. Eliot.
The pressure cooker imagery is pretty nice, but why cant you se something less domestic? After all, if I am not mistaken, kitchen is not really your domain besides the odd cuppa. Anyway, I could be Wrong.
Basically, the story is .... er.. all right i guess, and the term paper thing is something I can totally IDENTIFY with. But being the Word reminds me of ECO's THE NAME OF THE ROSE.
The story needs more work to get it stronger, and maybe a dash of sex regarding Mrs. Sen? (lol) (But you might take it seriously... after all, as a lot of other guys have pointed out, sex sells)
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