Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Blabberwocky

The Blabberwocky

Well, people sometimes ask, from where did man evolve? The Bible says God created Man and Woman in His image..... Darwin professed that Man evolved from apes. Hmmm.... pretty interesting huh? Imagine us wandering through the dense foliage searching indignantly for prey and stalking all those good looking females around.... trying to win their hearts by posing as "Alpha Male".... I guess that's the reason why we, such "advanced" creatures, have rightfully remained the stupidest on the planet.I can't reason as to why mankind, never realises that his purpose of being on earth is not to enjoy its luxury and overuse its resources, but also to be sympathetic to his Mother, who gives, but never gets back! We are nothing but a lousy set of humanoid apes, groping our way through the jungle we call "Life"... and we are lacking the basic amenity for survival, COMMONSENSE!
Still, man moves on, breaking technological boundaries, in search of the perfect answer to his being on this empty and desolate planet.... But hey, what the hell was the question? I won't be going deep into the matter but would love to say that the answer to the question lies deeply embedded in the book by Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy, where the opening lines blurt out a very perceptive statement which has quizzed the human brain for ages -- DON'T PANIC!
You see, man invented language in an odd way. Probably one day a talking ape comes up to a human and says "Phiii... aaaaaah rrrrr!" and the bloke says "Where?", the bloke gets instantly proud of his ability to speak, since before this if anyone in their group had to say "I have to pee" they wouldn't have had the balls to say so! But incidentally, the man realised he was travelling back in time, in a Time Machine and so figured out that he was actually talking to his great-great-great-great...... great-great-great-great grandfather, who had just invented fire and hadn't realised that his hand got fried in the process! Huh.... so much as to brain power in the Old ages! What this guy couldn't do was to help his great-great-great-great..........great-great-great-great grandfather and his burnt finger, so his ape-like granddad just dipped it in a pot of hot mulligatawny soup and felt relieved, only to take it out and appear shocked at the loss of his sixth finger! The man from now pondered, and finally came to the conclusion that this five finger combination wasn't merely a genetic disposition, but was rather a wrong move by someone who claimed to be his ancestor.
Thankfully the ape died out and a new more evolved species of monkeys became dominant. These beings lived their life in utter grief, since by the time they evolved, half of them realised they took the wrong turn at the Evolution Square! Why was this so? They were brainy guys, and by studying their own kind, they discovered the flaw. They discovered that their skull was excessively big as a result of which the fluid inside the cranium began being soaked by their overtly sized brain, which meant that a few sections of their supercomputer began showing defects and finally a circuit went "poof" and then another and another and so on.... till they realised that only one of their kind was left, that too, a gay one! Unfortunately enough, he cracked his skull, out of sheer boredom in an age of icy weather, with no sign of friends around! Poor guy!
Man evolved again, this time in a successful fashion. This guy produced foodgrains in his backyard, lived in a farmhouse of his own, and had his own pets. What he didn't have was a wife, a car, and a very own currency, because, if he's the only one of his kind, where would he get others to buy it from him? Well, this guy was clever. He called the Women's Suffrage in London and asked for a "single, white female, with no strings attached"! The delivery man came in late as usual, much to the frustration of this patient fellow. Now finally, the story of man's final voyage begins....(Well, sorry for such a detailed INTRODUCTION to the faces(not "faeces"... like the man in the Time Machine's great-great-great-great.... great-great-great-great granddad would have had said) of man's timeless goofups in the journey up to the final descent of Mankind's Latest Developments, a daily, published by Heavenly Express Publications Private Limited, read by the boss of all men, a bearded old fellow we nowadays call God!).

(To be continued.... a several issue story on how and why man "evolved")

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