Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Fancy That!

Yesterday I went to Fancy. You know, the shopping complex (?!) in Kidderpore. I went there because I had bought a Play Station a few months back, and the lense had got spoilt. It had been lying at home for all these months, and I thought I should do something about it.

If anyone, in their fit of madness has played on a Sony Play Station, you would know why it was so important to me.

So anyway, I land up there and the inevitable happens. I get completely boggled by the gizmos around me. I almost bought myself an mp3 player, but I stopped myself just in time when I remembered that if I did buy it, I would have no money for the rest of the month.

The people at fancy have a strategy. A pretty advanced strategy if I may add. I have enumerated them below so that it can remind me next time when I go and so that it may give you an idea of the real shit that goes on.

The come hither look:

The come hither look is the one which is the most common. Most shopkeepers adopt this strategy. They do nothing and say even less. However, it is impossible to pass by their shop without stopping. Imagine a golden retriever with a “I am so sad, pet me” expression. That, multiplied by hundred is exactly what they have. One feels pity. One does not need to by blue sunglasses or electric pink shoes with blue polka dots. But one must. One must out of sheer pity.

The dance and shout strategy

This, if not perfected can cause disaster. One must have practiced this all his life to lure a customer into his lair. What the shopkeeper does is he sort of prances about and shouts at the top of his lungs. His whole life needs to be dedicated to this because he cannot smoke, has to exercise regularly and he probably talked with marbles in his mouth as a kid. And all of that just so that he could shout and enunciate the varied commodities and services his shop offers.
You are walking down a lane of shops when suddenly out of the woodwork, out jumps this person waving his arms about like an actor rehearsing for Macbeth. What is one to do? You cannot avoid him. His oration is too great for that. You cannot walk past him. His presence is slightly on the over-bearing side. So you do what everyone does. You go to his lair and buy his stuff.

Come, I shall help you strategy

This strategy is perhaps the most difficult. It needs psychology, tactic and immense patience. Not many can do it, and the ones who can cannot do it very well. Very few have actually perfected it.
This strategy is something like this: You go to a shop selling music stuff. You want to buy a CD (just for argument’s sake) You can see that he has lots of them. But he says that he does not. But he says that he will surely look around with you for the CD that you are looking for.
He takes you around the complex. You visit more than thirty shops, and by some bizarre coincidence, the CD is not there. Finally, when you are about to fall dead, he leads you back into his shop and announces that he in fact has the CD, but the price for it is Rs 500, when you knew it was actually 30. You really cannot look around any further. The sun has set and your home beckons to you. SO you fish out 500 and buy something which is tremendously over-priced and which you could get for 50 in the next shop.

Hahaha. I am not fooled. I didn’t buy ANYTHING yesterday.

On the different note, Suchi threatened to yank my Converse sneakers off. Raka looked like she had murdered someone or was going to murder someone. Ragini brought these weird biscuits which had three sides. Anc has changed his nick to Death of an Anc. Arunobho is in love again, and he eats like he has not eaten in thirty years. JU has begun to get interesting again.

Srin is having a birthday party on Friday.

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